I am seriously thinking about my New Year's Resolutions this year. I suppose it's because I turn "six-oh" and that requires more serious thought. Here are my five resolutions: 1. I shall cut down on alcohol consumption. 2. I shall write another book (The last one took two years and landed in the bin!) 3. I shall walk more (not 1 mile a day but 5). 4. I shall take up more hobbies (I work a full day but I'm bored out of my cranium). 5. I shall endeavour to give more to the poor people of...
It's Christmas eve and my 19 year old is watching Maury "the sleaze" Povich as he tries to do a Dr Phil and cure a woman of her fear of frogs. No success, but then he goes into lie-detector mode to see whether a boyfriend is sleeping with his girl's mother. She (Mom) is telling the truth and Maury works his magic again. I call this Trailer Trash TV and one step down from Jerry Springer (make that half a step). How anyone can watch this tasteless crap beats me but I guess it appeals to the...
I really enjoyed these : "Santa sat on a worn out computer chair looking as bored as a dead rat." " The elves crept onto the stage looking like young fox terriers with worms." " The actors had the street cred of a lame donkey." " My children wanted to know why there were two Santas in the store. I explained that one was an assistant as Santa's also get the flu" " Just as the Wise Men arrived, the crib collapsed, giving a Titanic sigh." " Santa asked for a buck fifty and all I got wasa...
This story is absolutely true.The secretary at our school received a fax today. As the fax sheet rolled out so did a living, breathing mouse. He had been hiding in the fax machine. She screamed then laughed as it was the most unexpected thing to receive by fax. I told her that technology certainly had advanced since the first fax machines--now they could send live material as well! Would Joeusers with a humorous bent like to coin a sentence that sums up this new technology?
What's your favourite tipple Joeusers? A short quiz and some fact-finding. At sundowner time do you enjoy ?: A) Spirits? Whisky, rum, brandy or something else. Wine? Red, white, champagne ? Would you try an Australian, Chilean, South African or French? C) Tea or coffee? D) Beer: American or imported? E) A Coke or Pepsi. F) The fortified stuff: Sherry, Port or Muscadel? G) A cordial. Some facts for you to comment on: People in many hot countries drink a spirit made from sugar...
I am constantly amazed at the people who fall for Internet scams. It is quite easy to spot a scam and I am sure Joeusers are aware of all the silly things scammers get up to. I read in the Daily Mail recently that the Nigerian 419 still continues to draw in unsuspecting people who are naive about money matters and equally naive about internet invitations to divulge details. They are drawn in by incredibly clever conmen who want to rob them of big bucks. The elderly are special targets. Th...
Wow, Xythe posted a recipe for Italian sausages, peppers and potatoes and my taste buds went jumping. That meal would make a fine midnight snack, warmed over and perhaps filled into a baguette. My favourite midnighter is a cheese, ham and pickle baguette and I might also add some "biltong" , South African dried beef, venison or ostrich. It is very dry and hard but full of spices and it can be fried in oil to give it more tenderness and a richer flavour. Australians and Americans have jerki...
Where are we going with mobiles? While I read that these little gadgets we use for phone calls are getting more sophisticated, I wonder if technology will turn them into horrendous little packages that govern our entire lives . Modern mobile phones are getting close to my digital camera's capability of 5 megapixels. Will the camera become defunct? And, modern phones do video and caller to caller live online. Will the landline die out? I shall no longer require a stereo set/ mp3 or mp4. Th...
When I was at school in the early 60's we were compelled to study some of Shakespeare's works. How I hated Macbeth and his witches; Hamlet and his Scandinavian plots; The boring whining of the Taming of The Shrew. At age 19 I became an actor upon the stage (first at university), and had parts in all three of the above-mentioned plays (and others). Suddenly Shakespeare was no longer in a book --he was real and clever and provided fantastic lines and scenarios to throw about, great emotions ...
Skynews flighted a former defence official on the news today. He believes in UFO's but said that only 5% of thousands of sightings were unexplained. I don't believe in them at all and here's why (Bear in mind that I respect all views but remain cautiously cynical or is that cynically cautious?): * If it has strobe lights it's not a UFO. We invented strobes. * If it has landing lights or porthole lights, it's not a UFO. We invented them . * If it doesn't have wings how does it fly in our ...
Like all Joeusers, I blog and comment and Google and look at all sorts of things on the web. Kudos to JU for earning this review (see Link below): Very Nice Blog Navigator,forums , articles,top blogsites, topusers, top referrals. Well done Brad and all the JU bloggers!
The test rules are simple: You give the opposite of the listed adjectives WITHOUT using a dictionary or Thesaurus. Example: polite-rude Have a go! Give the opposite(s) of the adjectives below: anxious-- barren-- abstract-- succinct-- docile-- extinct-- voracious-- tactile-- clumsy-- astute-- pious-- beneficial- and for good measure: effervescent-- No dictionaries or Thesauri (sic), remember. Answers in a few days. OH, GO ON. TRY!
I really enjoyed Trudygolightly's best smells. The thought of fresh bread being baked in a bakery still has my neurons in a spin. The best. What about sounds? I compiled a list of the worst and best sounds. First, 5 most irritating sounds. * Car burglar alarm. Can't stand that noise. * Sound of an animal tied up or in pain. Gets to me emotionally. * The sound of a chair scraping on a tiled floor. * The sound of a small child screaming its head off in a supermarket when it can't have wh...
It's the weekend so take a break and think of the ten most amazing things you have seen in your life--or experienced. It could be historical, unbelievably awe-inspiring, wondrous, breathtaking --you name it! I'll kick off with my ten then see if you can describe ten(or five, if you cant). No prizes--just some laid-back writing for Joeusers to enjoy. 1. I flew out from Cape town two years ago and as the plane climbed out over False Bay I saw a huge whale below. I've seen many whales before ...
My Lycos mail site has just been upgraded and less spam is coming through. However, there are people with devious means who manage to override it. Here are three examples: 1. ₣№‼ﭏ♪ƠǼǖǘư And: 2.♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ And: 3. From: Auction Manager: Your property is about to be put up for auction. 1 and 2 are obviously using symbols and my bl...