Skynews flighted a former defence official on the news today. He believes in UFO's but said that only 5% of thousands of sightings were unexplained. I don't believe in them at all and here's why (Bear in mind that I respect all views but remain cautiously cynical or is that cynically cautious?):
* If it has strobe lights it's not a UFO. We invented strobes.
* If it has landing lights or porthole lights, it's not a UFO. We invented them .
* If it doesn't have wings how does it fly in our atmosphere?
* If it is triangular then I suggest we investigate how they stole the plans for the Stealth.
* If it is balloon-shaped it isa balloon. (Simple really).
* If it hums or makes strange whirring noises it's probably the kid next door with a new RC chopper.
* If it makes strange sucking noises near you----did you forget to turn off the Dyson?
* If it hovers for minutes on end---who lost his Flymo mower?
* If it flashes, crackles or spits sparks--damn, the pool light's gone again!
* If it lands and strange purple creatures emerge---that grass Pedro sold you sure is strong.
* If an alien woman wants to have sex with you--that grass Pedro sold you is very good.