The test rules are simple: You give the opposite of the listed adjectives WITHOUT using a dictionary or Thesaurus. Example: polite-rude Have a go! Give the opposite(s) of the adjectives below: anxious-- barren-- abstract-- succinct-- docile-- extinct-- voracious-- tactile-- clumsy-- astute-- pious-- beneficial- and for good measure: effervescent-- No dictionaries or Thesauri (sic), remember. Answers in a few days. OH, GO ON. TRY!

"Please hand me the envelope... " And the winner of the Albert Shovelcrap War Prize is... " President Ahmedinejad of Iran" "The prize is 1000 packets of Dentyne Superbreath, to keep your mouth cleaner than clean. The citation reads: -For ambitions as a magician, as the President is about to make Israel disappear. -For undisputed hateship towards the US and Britain. -For fake membership of the Nuclear club. -For selling 20 000 used Hillman taxis to Kazakhstan. Thank you ladies and ...

I heard on Skynews today that an approach will be made to Syria, and Iran, to help in damping down the war in Iraq. Where did this come from? Was it the US or the UK? The mind boggles when I think of those two countries being called upon for "help". What help and how? Is there a note of defeat in the air or are some people trying to bring Iran and Syria into the "fold". Can any Joeusers enlighten me?

Here is my take on North Korea: Forgive the licence I have taken with an old Chinese proverb. "Do not back dog into corner. He will turn and snarl. He will show his teeth. If dog is hungry he may bite. If dog wants to bite, shoot dog." Kim Jong il is actually like a frightened dog in a corner. His repressed people are starving and, unfortunately will never protest--they would be shot. Someone needs to get rid of this man. I suggest a sneaky little Chinese assassin with a garotte.

I really enjoyed Trudygolightly's best smells. The thought of fresh bread being baked in a bakery still has my neurons in a spin. The best. What about sounds? I compiled a list of the worst and best sounds. First, 5 most irritating sounds. * Car burglar alarm. Can't stand that noise. * Sound of an animal tied up or in pain. Gets to me emotionally. * The sound of a chair scraping on a tiled floor. * The sound of a small child screaming its head off in a supermarket when it can't have wh...

The World is growing restless as the events in Sudan grow worse by the day. Darfur is a region in Africa's largest country and it is controlled mainly, some say, by the JanJaweed. The Sudanese government pretends to control the Janjaweed but many say they are in collusion--and that they are determined to rid Sudan of mainly black Sudanese. It appears to be a racial conflict leading up to genocidal tendencies. I would say that genocide is happening as I write, and that it may be too late to sa...

I had a paedophile on my staff once. He seemed like a nice guy, went to church--even preached in church. Great record this guy had--but I found out later that his record had been hushed up. This happens often with paedophiles. Their records are "put away" or "filed" in File 13. So, this guy who came to me was highly recommended, good with kids and a great father figure. When he was arrested I found out he had a record. Remember, not before-- after the arrest. So I asked questions: Why wasn...

Senator John McCain spoke at the annual Conservative Party congress in Bournemouth last night. His speech (very conservative--as to be expected from a Democrat), was well received. I can't comment on his politics but I did (as an orator of long-standing),do a critique on the speech, noting some important highs and lows. Note that these are my personal observations: * The Senator looks like an ageing politician with reduced energy (he is over 70). He does not appear to have the charisma or ...

It's the weekend so take a break and think of the ten most amazing things you have seen in your life--or experienced. It could be historical, unbelievably awe-inspiring, wondrous, breathtaking --you name it! I'll kick off with my ten then see if you can describe ten(or five, if you cant). No prizes--just some laid-back writing for Joeusers to enjoy. 1. I flew out from Cape town two years ago and as the plane climbed out over False Bay I saw a huge whale below. I've seen many whales before ...

I know there are JoeUsers who have visited Cairo and many others who would like to. Here are some interesting facts about a city that is bigger than most of those in the USA. * Ignore Internet records: Cairo has over 20 million people. * There are more than 5 million vehicles in the greater city. * There are 20 000 plus, black and white taxis. There are over 1000 Yellow Cabs, the new taxis for tourists. * Some taxis are over 40 years old and a ride in one of these is an experience. * ...

My Lycos mail site has just been upgraded and less spam is coming through. However, there are people with devious means who manage to override it. Here are three examples: 1. ₣№‼ﭏ♪ƠǼǖǘư And: 2.♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ And: 3. From: Auction Manager: Your property is about to be put up for auction. 1 and 2 are obviously using symbols and my bl...

When it comes to American politics I am naive. A report in the UK Mail on Sunday (by William Rees Mogg), suggests that Senator John Mc Cain and Rudi Guillaini (don't know about that spelling), will be up amongst the leaders. I heard months ago that Senator Hillary Clinton was a certainty for the race. Have things changed and who do Jousers think will be the next President? Who are the other contenders and, seriously, who has the most credence to take over from a President who, though he m...

Judging by the last ten years and the advances made in computing, automobiles and every other electronic product in that time I thought I'd do a snap survey of views on what is to come in the next ten years. We have a lot of techies on JU so please look into the future. It could be interesting. Before that here's a look at the 70's Older Joeusers will smile. * In my school we used Gestetner machines and Banda machines for copying. The first photocopiers had paper rolls and the ink faded...

I'm sure Jusers have written before about the atrocious cost of printer cartridges. I noted a new HP advert the other day that 'pushed' their ink, comparing it to car buying. "HP. Very reliable.No previous owners." The ad goes on to say: " A new original HP inkjet cartridge is guaranteed to be exactly that: new. Re-filled cartidges may have been around the block again and again, using the same print head. How many times? No one knows. More importantly, you don't. So, for reliable trouble f...

I flew over Harare recently while on a trip from Egypt to South Africa. Even at 9000 m I could see the effects of President "Saviour of Africa" Mugabe's efforts to "clean up" his country. You cannot hide anything away from satellites but I realised that you cannot hide anything, period. It was obvious that there were areas outside Harare that seemed to contain roads but no housing. I looked down in wonder as I identified these roads then wondered where the houses were. It struck me then th...