I watched President Hugo Chavez on TV this morning. His "George Bush is a donkey" speech is a slur on honest Venezuelans. Like a decrepit Cuban gardener, he stood in casual wear with a backdrop of the garden he tends. I cannot blame him for his lack of English but I can tell him that many Venezuelans (they of the "correctness" class), must have cringed beyond a pale palor. Here wasa President of a country acting like a bloody fool. Perhaps he should have sung a song too? What about Tingale...

A man went into a bullring to fight a dangerous bull. He had heard that the bull was very dangerous. The bull was actually more timid than he thought and he quickly killed the bull. This was watched (on the other side of the fence), by another bull who had a lot of friends. The other bull and his friends, attracted by the lack of caring being given to the cows, attacked the man and soon overran the bullring. The man had a choice: leave the bullring or stay and fight the bull and his friends. ...

I am surprisedand disappointed by the Serbian grief over the death of Slobodan Milosevic. This man was a modern Hitler who thought he could use his immense power to bring about ethnic cleansing in Yugoslavia. The outpouring of grief by Serbs justifies my belief that the other Serbian war criminals (Mladic and Karadic) are being hidden and protected. Those Serbs who are paying their condolences to Milosevic will eventually realise the heinous deeds of a butcher when one of their ilk (namely...

The African Union Force wasa good idea. It was first mooted by President Obasanju of Nigeria and President Thabo Mbeki of South Africa. This peacekeeping army of soldiers from members of the AU was meant to be a cause for good in those African countries that needed help, whether it was to quell warring factions or provide succour to the needy displaced masses. The problem with the AU is that there are too few troops on the ground; they are un-motivated; they lack an understanding of th...

Allow me a few seconds of Patriotic pride. The South African film, Tsotsi, won an oscar! Director Gavin Hood deserves praise and congratulations for bringing kudos to my country. And of course, our beautiful lass Charlize Theron was there too. They may have voted her worst-dressed woman at the Oscars but they can say what they like. She is ours(!) and we love and admire her. Charlize won an oscar for Monster two years ago. She is a mega-star and she is proudly South African. Hooray for...

Serbia has an appointment with the EU. The country wishes to join the Economic Community but is apparently refusing to assist with the arrests of two war criminals namely Ratco Mladic and Radovan Karadzic. The EU is getting itchy about this situation but they are not ruling Serbia totally out of eligibility to join--they are simply putting roadblocks in place. Conditionality of membership hinges on these criminals being handed over to the Hague. The Times of London reports that " The stepping...

Bird Flu has been found in Egypt and, as expected, the locals are in a panic. The little farmyard fowl is having his throat cut as I speak, as are the turkey, duck and pigeon cousins. There are rumours that KFC will be out of business within a week. Supermarkets are girding up their loins for an attack on their frozen chickens and eggs. Will their stocks be dumped on the street like Danish butter? I am sorry but I have always been a risk-taker. I shall have my KFC (if ithey stay open long ...

With tongue firmly in cheek here are the items I envisage for sale on " J-Bay" next week. It has been a traumatic two weeks so there are plenty of items on sale: * 10 tons of Lurpak butter--slightly rancid--bargain. * 20 charred desks--ex-Danish Embassies. * 1 George Bush dummy--slightly singed. * 2 shotgun pellets----ex -Dick Cheney. * 13 Syrian Border stamps---no need to visit Syria for visa. Bargain. * I hand-driven generator (with wiring). Ex-Abu Graib Prison. * 7 Hamas flags --v...

As a South African I have always felt empathy for every Zimbabwean. The past ten years must have been hell for them. Their farms (once grain and tobacco producers, bar none) are now tilled (non-tilled?) by ex-war veterans who would not know a shovel from a pitch fork. Their currency has become a laughable 78 000 Zimdollar to the US dollar. Their unemployment figures run at a shocking 70 percent. Their homeless figures run at 22 percent (thanks to the bulldozers that 'clean up' the country...

I have written before about "the cartoons" and I still feel they were insensitive and insulting AT THIS TIME. However, I need to point out some things that worry me. Firstly, without offending Joeusers asa whole, I find that American readers are being overly vitriolic about Muslims in general. I feel that instead of fanning the flames, some of us could be adding petrol. I say this understanding 9/11 and 7/7 and the threats by terrorism. And I say this as a Christian. There are probably 10 ...

I refer to my previous blog on the blasphemous caricatures of the Prophet in newspapers in Denmark, and, now, across Europe. Thank goodness they have fired the editor of the French paper that published the same cartoons. For God's sake, I ask you, is he thick? (Yes). Don't they (his bosses), keep things closer to their chests and realise that the ethnic rioting that burnt France in ten days could be repeated? There is a fine line between insulting a religious group and the burning of a ci...

In September 2005 the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten published cartoon caricatures of the Prophet Muhammed in terrorist guise.The backlash by the World's Muslim population has taken some time to gather momentum but it is gaining momentum now and unlikely to abate for some while. Muslims are furious with this blatant blasphemy and are now boycotting Danish goods in Saudi Arabia and other Middle Eastern countries. Denmark is famous the World over for its high quality dairy and fish products, ...

The Saddam trial is becoming a circus. The new judge,Raouf Abdel-Rahman, a respected member of the judiciary and a victim in the sense that he hails from a village targetted/villified/ torched, by Saddam, has no control and is too lenient in his authority. No way should he have allowed the half-brother of Saddam to be dragged off physically, and, NO WAY, should he have dismissed Saddam or allowed him to gain the upper hand by shouting tirades at the court. What are these guys doing? Prosecuti...

I am not an expert on the Middle East but two thoughts went through my mind upon hearing of Hamas' almost certain victory in the Palestinian elections: Firstly, I was completely negative. I worry that Hamas will become a third radical government in the Middle East (with Syria and Iran---which is almost Middle East). I considered that perhaps these States were becoming radically altered in their mindset due to anti-US sentiment and that their peoples were rebelling against the authority of Ge...

The Daily Telegraph reported yesterday on arrangements for the African Union annual conference being held in Khartoum ( pick a country, any country, it won't be the Sudan). Apparently (and I can believe this), over 1200 limos, mini-limos and minibuses will be used to ferry Presidents and their entourages around the city . There are 53 Presidents/Prime ministers so I presume each entourage will be enormous. Actually I should not be so presumptious. The entourage will probably consist of numero...