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My 18 year old has turned against me(for a while).
Published on November 22, 2005 By adnauseam In Personal Relationships
My wife and I have been very happily married for 33 years. There has been very little tension in our home apart from the normal challenges any family faces. Our late baby is now 18 and living with us. He goes to College and has every gadget known to man. He expectsa lot but gives little---totally spoilt---and fawns on his mother. He and I have shared interests for years and I have tried to make up quality time but it is not the quality time a 40 year old can give a teenager. I am nearly 60 and work very hard too.

My wife believes he is jealous of our relationship because he wants her for himself (he really loves his Mom), and he cannot handle another man in the scenario. This is a familiar scenario but why should a child feel like this? It'll turn out fine in a year or two, I'm sure, but I'd really like to know from the experts why a child, who has led virtually a perfect life in a peaceful home, feels this way?

Don't get me wrong. He is a beautiful, balanced individual and he isa worrier and thus worries about me when I'm not home. He depends on me--I organise his schedule --and seems to love me , but is so defensive of his mother that he scolds me if I stress her in any way (small things).

My daughter, who is married, loves me unequivocably and has never felt this way. She has no qualms about her affection and it is unchanging.

I'm not too stressed about this because we live so peacefully but I would love to know why he has this hang-up. Come on experts, tell me what you think.

Comments
on Nov 22, 2005
I know as a teenager I went through a couple of rough patches with my Father,things just worked themselves out . I think of him as my best friend now
I hope this happens to you too . Good luck.
Could you pop by my blog and leave me an Angolan flag to add to 101 other countries.

dom
on Nov 23, 2005
Sure will. Give a day or so. Thanks for comments.
on Nov 23, 2005
Sure will. Give a day or so. Thanks for comments.
on Nov 23, 2005
He's being perfectly logical. It's most likely your fault.

-A Teenager
on Nov 12, 2006
Why don't you arrange two or three hours in his schedule, since you are arranging it, and take him fishing and ask him why he acts the way he does, and also share your own feelings with him about how it makes you feel. Perhaps there is more to be understood by actually talking to the source.

"Our late baby is now 18" its a little telling, but 18 isn't a baby anymore.

"virtually a perfect life" maybe you need to find out what isn't virtually perfect in his eyes.

Like others have said, maybe it's just normal teenager behaviour, rebellious young adult college alumni. I wouldn't know, I never had a father in my life, or went to college, or was able to rebel really because my lone parent is pretty dependent on me. But my advice would be communication between you and he.