Whacky answers to spam mail.

But don't open them.

Published on September 8, 2008 By adnauseam In Just Hanging Out

Don't you love Spam? I'm one of those unfortunate people who have 3 e-mail addresses and , although I have blockers , spam still to creep through. I don't reply, and please don't for your own sake. It was my birthday and I received an anonymous e-card---I opened it and thwang, I had a bug bigger than Disneyland! Got rid of it eventually.

Then I thought of some whacky answers to spammers (they're in my head---I won't reply.). Some adult content here but nothing risque:

Spam: Would you like a bigger organ?

Me: No my wife's Yamaha is big enough.

Would you like to earn a nursing degree?

Me: Why would I want to do that when I'm a doctor?

Spam: Would you like to grow two more inches?

Me: Not really, I'm six foot four.

Spam: You too can be a CSI.

Me: Yes please, if Karakarides plays alongside me.

Spam: Dr Wabambe from Nigeria asks if he can place a million dollars in my account.

Me: Sure, any time --the account is overdrawn.

Spam: Would you like free HD TV?

Me: Sure, here's my address and bill Steve Colbert!

I'm sick of spam. Let's all work together to wipe it out!

Comments

Zoologist03

on Sep 08, 2008

Hmm, I like this idea. Perhaps I'll join you in a good round of Spam rippin'. I'll just use some spam from my bulk folder.

Spam: Flush Up to 20 Excess Pounds Out of Your Body!

Me: Now that's one hell of a toilet! Sign me up!

Spam: Meet adults looking for fun.

Me: Oh boy, we can play Halo together!

Spam: Do You Have Diabetes? Are You on Medicare?

Me: Wow, I can get diabetes and Medicare. Too good to pass up.

Spam: That special someone is here waiting for you!

Me: You mean in this attachment? Better get her out of there, I guess.

Spam: Dumb and poor? Here's a simple way to make MONEY!

Me: Well, if I were dumb I'd certainly open this...but how poor can I be to get your email?

Spam: Hip implant recall

Me: Well that's going to suck to mail back.

Spam: NEW VEHICLES FOR ANYONE, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PAYMENT HISTORY IS!

Me: So these vehicles are free, I take it?

Spam: Get a convienent[sic] online checking account today.

Me: Your poor spelling is obviously trustworthy. I'll set it up right now.

Well that's enough outta me. Kinda fun.

~Zoo

Dr Guy

on Sep 08, 2008

Really Zoo, make a new posting (to go with the headlines one) of stupid answers to stupid spam!

Oh, and here is my Contribution:

Spam: HJRKLJRLE

Me: Gribnic to you too.

adnauseam

on Sep 11, 2008

Come on Doc--My idea remember!

Here's another:

"Would you like free monthly phone bill?"

"Doubt whether my neighbour would let me stretch a cable across to his house!"

Dr Guy

on Sep 11, 2008

"Doubt whether my neighbour would let me stretch a cable across to his house!"

But a wireless that uses his signal.

Zoologist03

on Sep 11, 2008

Really Zoo, make a new posting (to go with the headlines one) of stupid answers to stupid spam!

Heh...well I could always...'borrow' an idea if adnauseam doesn't hunt me down over it.

~Zoo

adnauseam

on Sep 14, 2008

Nope. Let's think of the best ones together!

Dr Guy

on Sep 14, 2008

Nope. Let's think of the best ones together!

Since I switched to Outlook 2003, the spam filter is pretty good. I dont see much any more.

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