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But don't open them.
Published on September 8, 2008 By adnauseam In Just Hanging Out

Don't you love Spam? I'm one of those unfortunate people who have 3 e-mail addresses and , although I have blockers , spam still to creep through. I don't reply, and please don't for your own sake. It was my birthday and I received an anonymous e-card---I opened it and thwang, I had a bug bigger than Disneyland! Got rid of it eventually.

 

Then I thought of some whacky answers to spammers (they're in my head---I won't reply.). Some adult content here but nothing risque:

Spam: Would you like a bigger organ?

Me: No my wife's Yamaha is big enough.

Would you like to earn a nursing degree?

Me: Why would I want to do that when I'm a doctor?

Spam: Would you like to grow two more inches?

Me: Not really, I'm six foot four.

Spam: You too can be a CSI.

Me: Yes please, if Karakarides plays alongside me.

Spam: Dr Wabambe from Nigeria asks if he can place a million dollars in my account.

Me: Sure, any time --the account is overdrawn.

Spam: Would you like free HD TV?

Me: Sure, here's my address and bill Steve Colbert!

 

I'm sick of spam. Let's all work together to wipe it out!

 

 

 

 

 


Comments
on Sep 08, 2008

Hmm, I like this idea.  Perhaps I'll join you in a good round of Spam rippin'.  I'll just use some spam from my bulk folder.

Spam: Flush Up to 20 Excess Pounds Out of Your Body!

Me:  Now that's one hell of a toilet!  Sign me up!

Spam: Meet adults looking for fun.

Me: Oh boy, we can play Halo together!

Spam: Do You Have Diabetes? Are You on Medicare?

Me:  Wow, I can get diabetes and Medicare.  Too good to pass up.

Spam: That special someone is here waiting for you!

Me: You mean in this attachment?  Better get her out of there, I guess.

Spam: Dumb and poor?  Here's a simple way to make MONEY!

Me: Well, if I were dumb I'd certainly open this...but how poor can I be to get your email?

Spam: Hip implant recall

Me:  Well that's going to suck to mail back.

Spam:  NEW VEHICLES FOR ANYONE, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PAYMENT HISTORY IS!

Me:  So these vehicles are free, I take it?

Spam: Get a convienent[sic] online checking account today.

Me: Your poor spelling is obviously trustworthy.  I'll set it up right now.

 

Well that's enough outta me. Kinda fun.

~Zoo

on Sep 08, 2008

Really Zoo, make a new posting (to go with the headlines one) of stupid answers to stupid spam!

Oh, and here is my Contribution:

 

Spam: HJRKLJRLE

Me: Gribnic to you too.

on Sep 11, 2008

Come on Doc--My idea remember!

Here's another:

"Would you like free monthly phone bill?"

"Doubt whether my neighbour would let me stretch a cable across to his house!"

 

on Sep 11, 2008

"Doubt whether my neighbour would let me stretch a cable across to his house!"

But a wireless that uses his signal.

on Sep 11, 2008

Really Zoo, make a new posting (to go with the headlines one) of stupid answers to stupid spam!

Heh...well I could always...'borrow' an idea if adnauseam doesn't hunt me down over it.

~Zoo

on Sep 14, 2008

Nope. Let's think of the best ones together!

on Sep 14, 2008

Nope. Let's think of the best ones together!

Since I switched to Outlook 2003, the spam filter is pretty good.  I dont see much any more.

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