Dateline: Luanda, June 7 2004
“We’ll beat ‘em up, boy. Show ‘em our way.”
I normally comment on the trials and tribulations of Africa. I digress this week because I have been shaken and disturbed by two coincidental “sightings” on TV. Each one relates to Abu Ghraib prison.
Two weeks ago I watched a Ruby Wax program about the Hill-Billy people in Appalachia. The program showed the Appalachians in their homes, their stores, their church. These people did not seem normal (ask Ruby), and, after watching their church services (accompanied by snakes as part of the rituals), I was convinced that anybody who worshipped in such a frenzied manner has to have at least a screw or two loose.
Imagine this: These people are so bored that they bring venomous snakes into their worship and daily lives. They dance like crazed animals around confused rattlers and adders. They writhe and spin and mumble and mutter and intone God’s word like it is their own. They know absolutely nothing (or very little), about God or Jesus (though they chant his name repeatedly), and they are bitten at times, the fang bites being excused as God’s will.
There are shades of the Charles Manson mentality here. These people are undeniably sick (I’m not saying all Appalachians are sick but remember that it only takes one mosquito to infect 20 or 30 or more), and they need help. These people are so sick that I wonder whether an army of psychiatrists could cure them.
Then, lo and behold, we hear that Private Lynndie England (she of Abu Ghraib prison fame), and her boyfriend, are from the Appalachian community. Now, think about this: If you are going to grow up with snake-loving worshippers and people who are more backwoods than a poisonous toadstool, are you not likely to be a bit unhinged? Could it be that Ms England and her boyfriend (who, by the way, appears in most of the first of the released photos), are so warped by their respective upbringings that kicking an Iraqi here and there is no different to the norm?
We should feel sorry for these people but we would have hoped that their creepy ways would have remained hidden and simply regarded as eccentric. Until the Appalachian Lynndie England came along. Read on: She is the effect due to her weird upbringing. She is not the cause. That remains in the hands of even creepier persons.
So, in search of the real perpetrators (I watch a lot of TV), co-incidental program came along. I was watching General Geoffrey Miller, he of Guantanamo fame, and I was stunned to find that he had been appointed new commander of Abu Ghraib prison.
Now, if you listen to General Miller you’ll find that he’s a no-nonsense guy. He’s pretty assertive and he’s proud of his Guantanamo setup. He’s so keen (Mr Fixit, he is), that he has promised that he will clean up Abu Ghraib and knock anyone who does dirty deeds there. He’s a vacuum cleaner is our General---cleans up all sorts of mess.
Problem is, and here’s the rub, we hear that our Geoffrey may have been responsible for those self-same cruel deeds in the first place. He is not averse to using dogs to discover that Muhammed whatsit is not really a street cleaner. And that Husseini whatsit (hung up by his ankles for ten days), is not a humble plumber. Our Geoff has lots of tricks up his sleeve. He is into subjugation in a big way (after all, Guantanamo has perfected the science of submission to the nth degree).
Something smells bad here—really bad. If Rummy doesn’t kick ass quickly he’s likely to find himself in Geoffrey’s Baghdad handcuffs. Don’t tell me I’m dreaming here---The real rot is at the top and George W. needs to fix it before John Kerry wakes up and sees all the coincidences!