Only French cheese will do.
My dog Gus is extremely fussy when it comes to eating so I decided to have a chat with him about his fussy habits.
Me: Gus, you've become rather strange since the, er, operation.
Gus: Wouldn't you be strange if you had your sex organs removed.
Me: Well, I suppose I would but I don't go around spraying male hormones and urine everywhere.
Gus: It's my right as a male dog guarding your house.
Me: Well, I don't see what pissing on the bed has to do with guarding the house. Let's change the subject.
Gus: I suppose you're going to ask me why I don't like Royal Canin biscuits when you paid 20 bucks for a bag.
Me: Actually I was.
Gus: Because they're (expletive deleted).
Me: And what about the Chow biscuits?
Gus: You mean cat Chow?
Me: Same as dog biscuits.
Gus: That's (expletive deleted). I refuse to eat cat food. I only eat Pedigree.
Me: It's hard to get.
Gus: Get it!
Me: And another thing. You seem to eat pistachio nuts and Brie cheese. That's not a dog thing.
Gus: Makes a change from rice and peas mixed in with my KFC.
Me: They're good for you.
Gus: Like you tell the wife beer is good for you?
Me: What would you like to eat?
Gus: I wouldn't mind a Chinese now and then. And some Turkey. And no cans please--I do not do cans.
Me: You're impossible.
Gus: So are you but I'm getting old.