Political and topical news and commentary
Have you had to adapt? I sure have.
Published on November 19, 2006 By adnauseam In Humor
Here are some of the things I have learnt as I grow older--as the stomach turns and the mind spins, as they say:

1. Wet wipes have become important in my life. I buy the baby ones because they won't sting my tired butt.
2. If I lose my glasses I cannot do any worthwhile work. May as well take a day off.
3. I keep two sets of keys for everything but often lose both.
4. The quality of toilet paper is extremely important.
5. I collect old banknotes. The new notes don't hang around too long.
6. I have learnt that stomach gas increases in proportion to age.
7. I take care crossing a busy street. I don't cross.
8. I watch the news every night. Movies are too long.
9. I have stopped fantasising about being in bed with Ursula Andress. Now I fantasise about being in bed.
10. My alarm clock hasa well-used snooze button.

Can you add to the list?

Comments
on Nov 19, 2006

With such a well rounded out list,  it's hard to think of any others,  

1. Comfort is more important than looks~as in shoes, clothing

2. I no longer try to find my way around in the dark....besides,  the only place I need to go at night is to the can.

3.I still get excited when the doorbell rings,  that means it's the pizza delivery,  used to be the florist...things change ya know?

4.Now I have storage totes under my bed,  instead of hastily tossed items of clothing..

5. The money I used to spend on makeup and perfume now goes for denture cream and arthritis cream.

on Nov 19, 2006
The only thing money can't buy is poverty.
on Nov 20, 2006
Kids dont realize how smart you are until they have their own.